Organic Mama

I wanted to say sorry to Dave for being so harsh at the end of that last post. Dave, you can give me grief any time. I've been worrying about it since I wrote the words. By way of expalaining myself, I want to talk about my relationship with my dad. Oh yeah, another sob story about how "my dad didn't love me enough, blah, blah blah". Actually, not the case.

My father is a bit of a critic, and not the constructive kind. I cannot remember him praising me for anything, ever. I definitely worked hard in the hopes that I might do well enough to make him like me, but nothing seemed to break that barrier. I have called him on it since growing up, and he says he just didn't want us kids to get to attached to what other people thought of us. I don't know exactly what bullshit gave him that idea, though I could manage a rough guess, but I'm here to testify that it worked to exactly the opposite effect on me. I have taken much of what happened in my own childhood and made some rough estimates of my own about what I DO NOT EVER want to happen in my own child-rearing experience. However, my interaction with my father has left me with a heavy-duty critical side as well (as my poor-hen-pecked hubbo can relate) as well as a GIGANTIMOUS sensitivity to anything resembling disapproval or criticism from others (esp. men). And wacky hijinx ensue.

There you have it, Dave. I think I might have 'splained this one to you before in my previous blogger incarnation. Sorry again for being rude.